


Bigger Than Any Word

by JudeAraya



Series: Winter Cherry Blossoms [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bants, Established Relationship, Japan 2019, M/M, Post Japan, actually kind of blow jobs, ish, japan 2.0, japhan 2.0, japhan 2019, oblique?, reference to blow jobs, tired boys, who can't make complete sentences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeAraya/pseuds/JudeAraya
Summary: Phil buried his face in Dan’s neck, at a loss for words. Forty eight hours, a handful of coherent conversations, too many naps later and there Phil was, speechless.Semi conversation over the course of two days while Dan and Phil regain powers of speech in post Japan exhaustion.ORRules of three and ten, pondering five year plans, too much bant and a sweet ending to a lovely experience.All three stories in this triptych can stand alone but work together to create an arc.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Winter Cherry Blossoms [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553020
Comments: 25
Kudos: 138





	Bigger Than Any Word

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [jestbee](https://jestbee.tumblr.com/post/189275602612/fic-some-kind-of-magic-phan/) for the beta work and encouragement! Also to the WWC chat last night for encouraging me! 
> 
> I never meant to write this series, but Japan was such an experience for a person so new to this Phandom. I wanted to write something funny and light so I wouldn't spiral into post-Japan mourning. 
> 
> Also, Winter Cherry Blossoms are a thing! There are festivals and parks for the [fuyuzakura ](https://travel.gaijinpot.com/japan-sightseeing-essentials/cherry-blossoms-japan/winter-cherry-blossoms-in-japan/) trees that bloom as the maple trees turn for fall.

“Y’know, they say all good things come in threes,” Phil mumbled. He was tucked up against Dan, face buried in his neck. 

“Wha?” Dan squirmed, not away but deeper into their bedding. Phil could write sonnets to their bed. 

“Japan,” Phil said. 

“Mm. Yeah.” Dan sighed, tightening the arm he had under Phil’s head and wrapped around his shoulder. Phil knew it would be numb when they woke and Dan would take the piss over it. He was really too tired to be arsed, honestly. 

~*~

“But why threes?” Dan said the next day. He was freshly showered and still rosy from the steam. His hair was damp but wild in a way it hadn’t been, not since Osaka. An at home wild, a _no one will see me but you_ wild. “Tens are good too, right?” 

“Yeah,” Phil said around a mouthful of cereal. He wiped up a drip of milk with the back of his hand and took the napkin Dan shoved at him without remark. Still, he felt obligated to make a face as a retort to Dan’s before tucking back into his breakfast. 

“In five years, you reckon?” 

“Hm,” Dan said, scrolling through his phone. Phil peeked over; Dan was going through pictures from their trip. 

“To post?” 

“No.” Dan looked up. His eyes were still a little tired, but his smile was so sweet, the most private of his smiles. He kissed Phil. “Just remembering.” 

~*~

“How long before you get full speech back?” Dan’s fingers curled over Phil’s shoulders, rubbing at the tense knots in his shoulders. 

“I don’t know what you’re on about, I’m fully speeched.” 

“Phil that’s not even a word,” Dan said, laughing into Phil’s hair, laying a cheek on the top of Phil’s head. 

“Anything can be a word if you want it to be,” Phil said loftily. “Remember-”

“No, Phil, anything but your degrees,” Dan said. 

“Not where I was going,” Phil said, knowing full well it was. He gave up searching his ideas document for video inspiration. Nothing was inspiring him. 

“You know you’re allowed to unwind and take time before you get back to it, yeah?” Dan rolled Phil away from the desk. 

“No fair.” Phil pouted. “You can’t just move me wherever you want, whenever you want.” 

“I could probably name a dozen times off the top of my head when you’ve begged me to do just that.” 

Phil felt his cheeks pink. He could too. “Not what I meant.” 

“That’s what you always say Lester,” Dan said. He tugged on Phil until he stood. “That’s how you make money. Best innuendo maker with the sweetest smile in town.” 

Phil frowned. “All right daemon, what do you want?” 

Dan sighed. “I want you to blow me and come to bed and snuggle the shit out of me in sheets that smell like home and then we can wake up and have complete conversations.” 

“This didn’t pass for complete?” Phil snagged Dan’s shirt and reeled him in, nosing along the curved column of his neck.

“For us?” Dan tilted his head to the side. “I’d give us a solid nine out of ten.” He shivered when Phil bit down. Not hard enough to mark, but enough for Dan to know he sought permission. 

“I’d ask what I need to do to get a ten, but I’m much more interested in the blow job part of this transaction.” 

Dan’s fingers dug into his hips, palms hot where they’d snuck under his shirt, thumbs sure against Phil’s hip bones. 

“Fuck conversation then, let’s go,” Dan murmured.

Phil was already on his knees before it hit him. “Wait, where in this am I getting a blowjob? I feel like you skipped the second most important part.” 

“What was the most important?” Dan threaded his fingers into Phil’s hair, gentle but sure, while Phil nosed at his cock, hard and tucked away under his clothes like a present.  
“Sleep, of course.” Dan tugged at his hair. Phil eased his joggers down, completely unsurprised to find him bare underneath. “Really Dan, what do you think is most important?” 

Dan probably said something then, and Phil would fully have responded if his mouth hadn’t have been full and busy, and really, screw conversation. He was much happier to screw Dan instead. 

~*~

“Stellar cuddles,” Dan slurred against his pillow. He hitched Phil’s arm up a bit so his palm was splayed against Dan’s sternum. Phil tucked his knees up behind Dan’s a little tighter. 

“Much cuddle, would come again?” Phil joked. 

“I’d instagram that,” Dan said. 

“Knowing you, you would. You’d just find sheeb, innocently out for a stroll, take a photo without consent and broadcast our relationship under the guise of puppy fever.” 

“Unfair!” Dan pulled at Phil’s arm hair sharply. Phil _hated_ that. He bit the back of Dan’s shoulder in retaliation. Tragically he only came away with a mouthful of cotton shirt. 

“Y’know it’s true,” Phil said. His eyes were much too heavy and his body was doing that lovely tingling thing it did when sleep was winning a battle against wakefulness. 

“Not,” Dan countered. Always with the countering. _God_ Phil was so smitten he couldn’t even be properly annoyed. “My puppy fever is completely legitimate.” 

“Still, doesn’t make the rest untrue.” 

“Hm,” Dan said. His leg jerked, and then a bit later his arm; Dan’s sleep tells for when he was deeply exhausted. 

~*~

Phil woke long before Dan the next morning, still loathe to leave their bed. He’d gotten up long enough to make coffee, then amused himself with rounds of the goose game and going back through his photos and videos from Japan. He watched Dan too, the rise and fall of his chest. The way his hair had frizzed beyond recognition. The spot coming up on his chin; Dan always seemed to get spots after travel. 

In photos, in Japan, Dan was luminescent and sweet. Silly and unselfconscious on film, painfully beautiful and utterly himself with a backdrop of trees and a sweet deer who seemed to have fallen in love with Dan. 

Everyone should fall in love with Dan. Anyone with good sense did. Phil could hardly begrudge that; he was a fool for Dan just like most. Only he was the one who got to be a fool for him even in his stupid cat shirt, spotted and frizzed and so tired they’d barely spoken in complete sentences in the last forty eight hours. 

Not that they really needed full sentences. 

Phil dedicated himself to making a folder, a “best of Dan” photo album that was just for him, while he waited for Dan to wake. 

“It doesn’t have to be in threes or tens or in five years, yeah?” Dan said after he’d rolled over and yawned against Phil’s hip. “I’m rich, I can do what I want.” 

“What and leave me alone in this big new house with only Norman for company?” 

“Mm, naw,” Dan’s eyes fluttered open and then back closed when the effort seemed too great. He draped a heavy arm over Phil’s lap and pulled himself closer. “You can be my kept boy. I’ll spoil you rotten, I will.” 

“I don’t think it works that way mate.” 

“I’m rich, I can do what I want,” Dan said, aiming for petulant but really just being so damn cute. _Fuck_ Phil was so suceptible when he was tired. 

“But it’s kind of special like this, innit?”

“What is?”

Phil’s fingers dragged up and down Dan’s arm. He watched goose pimples rise at the touch. “As a gift, as a treat. Not all the time.” 

“Yeah,” Dan said. Despite the fact that Phil was wearing his emoji pjs, he kissed Phil’s thigh, which happened to be the only thing by his mouth. “But not in threes, okay? Japan is too big for only three visits.” 

“Well, if we go for ten visits, one every five years-”

“Phil, my whole body hurts,” Dan interrupted, “please do not assault me with maths or the thought of getting old.” 

“Well it won’t be so bad, will it? Getting old together?”

“You tell me, old man.” Dan squealed when Phil pinched his side. “Soz, you wanker, I’m joking.” 

“So, ten more trips?” 

“At least,” Dan whispered. His breaths evened and Phil wondered if Dan was falling asleep again. 

“Phil?” Dan spoke just as Phil was contemplating going back to sleep himself. “It’s been wonderful so far.” 

“What has?” Phil wiggled down, ignoring Dan’s noises of protest as he was jostled from his position. 

“Getting old with you.” 

“We’re not-”

Dan’s eyes opened, still beautifully rich and dark even in the bright room. “Shut up rat, you know what I mean. Let me be romantic and shit.” 

“I think I liked it better when there were cherry blossoms involved,” Phil said, thinking of the last picture he’d looked at. Dan under the winter cherry blossoms, lit up as night fell, doubling over in laughter, petals in his hair. 

“Lies. You love me always,” Dan said. Phil buried his face in Dan’s neck, at a loss for words. Forty eight hours, a handful of coherent conversations, too many naps later and there Phil was, speechless. 

You could make anything a word if you wanted to, he thought. But some things were just bigger than any word at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr! I love friends! If you liked this fic, you can [reblog](https://judearaya.tumblr.com/post/189311600952/fic-bigger-than-words-phan) here.


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